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Are you granted the gift to understand yourself? Can you face yourself and not wither? Can you be honest with yourself? Who are you?
Your place in existence is unique and can only be occupied by you. What will you do with such a miraculous gift?
Programming or software development has a series of steps you must take if you want to be successful. These steps are, Specification, Design, Coding or Implementation, Quality Assurance, Tracking, and working towards a better version. But of-course your are thinking the same thing.
I would like to compare these steps to family relationships and how we may increase love in our marriages.
Let’s discuss the first step, Specification. When setting out to write a program you need to know what it will do when it is finished. This list of requirements is called Specification. This lets us know how the program will function and also how it should appear to the user. This specification is usually not created by the programmer, but by a manager or director. Please understand that is not our job as programmers decide how it should work, but it is our job to make it work.
This is the same for us as families and spouses. Instead of a single specification, we have been given much scripture, both ancient and current, to let us know the pattern we should follow in our families, and in our marriages. If we wish to have true love and joy in our marriage, we must follow the plan set forth for us in the scriptures. The proclamation to the world states:
-“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
I know that the plan which has been set forth will work and is possible. I am overjoyed knowing that my family is forever.
The second step is design. As a programmer more time should be spent in design than coding or implementation. A good design always consists of modules. Modules are sections of the program that have different rolls or duties. Each module though independent, must be able to properly talk and communicate with every other module.
Heavenly father has set up our families into a module pattern. Such as Father, Mother and child. Each of us have individual rolls and responsibilities in the family. For example: Husbands, are we doing our part to encourage family prayer, family home evening and temple attendance. I can think of no other way to express love and impress your wife, than to lead the family in such positive activities. The proclamation to the world also states: “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”
Communication between the modules or people is key. We must know how to talk to each other, and our communication needs to be positive and uplifting. There are the exceptions where a parent must chasten a child, but as husband and wife, we are peers and the communication needs to be as such. Come to all communication settings with love, patience and humility. Additionally it is most important to bring prayer and our manager into our communication, and relationships. As developers, we must constantly refer back to the specification and clarify with the manager to make sure we understand how things should work.
The third step is to write the code, or the implementation. This is where we try to structure our software to follow the design which has been set forth. Go to the temple. Have family prayer and family home evening. Attend church as a family and read the scriptures together.
Every time we introduce a small change into our program we must make sure that it is tested, and we have not caused problems with any of our modules. As husband and wife we must decide together and pray about changes. Even though our intentions may be perfect, the results will not. Feelings will be hurt, communication may be cut, and disagreements will in-sue. When such problems occur in our software we may need to review our implementation and make sure we are following the design set forth.
We must communicate with our manager and ask him to help us make the changes we don’t understand. He has been writing software much longer than we have, and knows what we will face. As communication with our Heavenly Father improves, we will learn better how to communicate with each other. The results will be beautiful to witness, as positive family habits and traditions develop.
One of my families favorite activities included the art of communication directly. We have been going to class as a family to learn American Sign Language. We have been sharing positive activities together, all the while learning how to better communicate. My wife and I have discussed how we do not get offended or frustrated when we sign. This is because we are forced to be thoughtful in what we say and how we talk. As it is sometimes hard to know all the words, we select choice words that will convey our message. If only we could perfect this with our vocal communication.
Forth is Quality Assurance. This is the process of handing your software over to other users and testers for them to determine if we have fulfilled the design, and met all the requirements. In a software company testers write down problems they find and as developers we can correct our mistakes and give them updated versions of the software to test. They then re-test the same sections, to make sure we have fixed the issues, and not introduced any new bugs.
There is quality assurance for our relationships, in this world which our Heavenly Father has given us. Our relationships are tested and stressed by others and eternal forces. If we have followed the design of our Heavenly father, we will be able to withstand the tests of the world. Some will deliberately attempt to cause problems or hack our system. Satin and his supporters will try to introduce improper habits, routines and influences into our relationships.
We have been given a perfect pattern, by a perfect designer. Satin will attempt to corrupt and damage our marital relationships. It is imperative that as couples, married or dating, that we seek the blessings of the New and Everlasting temple covenants. It must be our first priority above all others. Once we have been sealed to our spouse for all eternity, we then must seek the blessings that come by keeping the covenants we have made.
We must seek after activities that will allow us to communicate and understand each other better. Weekly dating and time together. Seek out time just for each other that will allow you to speak freely and openly. The 13th article of faith states: “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”
Every husband and wife have differences in learning style, and opinions. These differences allow us to join together and become closer because of our differences. Ignore the judgments of the world. In marriage, always dance like no one is looking.
Fifth is the Tracking process. This means tracking our goals. Setting timelines, and making sure your goals are measurable. Vague or open ended goals are not as powerful as those that help us focus on immediate change. It is also important to record our accomplishments. This can be done through journalling and keeping a family history. Set worthiness goals. If needed, set goals as a couple to reach the Temple together, with a date specified. Plan for regular temple attendance when worthy. Plan family home evenings, scripture study and prayer, and plan and carryout prayer as husband and wife.
If I want to be uplifted and reminded of how blessed I am to be married to my wife, I only need to attend the temple with her. There is no other setting that lets me see her for who she truly is, and what I may become if I treat her with the love and kindness she deserves. Disney teaches of Princes, Princesses and happily ever after. How right they are. I hope I can live unto the covenants I have made, and treat my wife as she deserves, that I may stand with my Queen.
This process is never-ending. We are given the gift to work toward a better version of our marriages. Each relationship can improve. There will also be new external forces. New requirements may come in the form of job loss, health trials or blessings such as new children or grand-children.
We will find joy if we review Heavenly fathers perfect specification. Redesign or makes changes that bring us more inline with the teachings of the gospel. Seek after uplifting activities you can do together. As married couples we should have continual courting and dating. The world is going to throw new things at us, but because of the goals we have set, and our trust in Heavenly Father, we will succeed. Satin and all his forces to not have the power to break covenants we have made, if we live up to our covenants.
Second Nephi 2:25 states: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” I know this to be true. I know that with patience and love every marriage relationship can have an abundance of joy. We will always have struggles and burdens, but carrying the proper burdens together will bind our families in ways we will not fully understand in this life. This is my testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
It has made about $50.00 in it’s life. I have determined that the app store requires true word of mouth and advertising to be successful. For someone like me, not worth the time. For now I’m putting it free and will just let people enjoy it.
Overall it was a fun learning experience of the iPhone framework. It has some real strengths and some polishing that still needs to happen. I’m hoping with XCode 4.1 these will be resolved.
We tend to trust even expect future events that are similar to past events. The more proof we have that we have that things will not change, the more we expect in a familiar future. We are creatures of statistics. The more samples, the more we believe the trend will continue. I expect there to be another spring.
What about hope of something that we have not personally witnessed. We have records and other individual’s witness that certain actions yield certain results. Here we come into trust of the individual or the record. We still almost fully rely on our personal experiences. We find it difficult to trust another’s witness when it varies in the least degree from our interpretation. Trust can overcome. Is there anyone you trust more than yourself?
The final form of hope comes into play when we attempt to trigger a result from an action that we have never taken, and has limited or no comparisons in-which can judge an outcome. True pioneers of the unknown take bravery and skill to be successful. In most situations one of the previous forms apply, but there are those wonderful moments when we can truly step out into hope and reap the rewards.
Why do we need hope and when is hope needed?
Every choice has a result. Every action has an opposite reaction. We must have hope that the reaction we are seeking will result from our action. If we do not have hope we do not, do. We are passive when in doubt. We do not tempt reactions. This means that all actions stem from hope. We are processors of what we have seen, what we are experiencing, and what we expect.
In matters of force the reaction is equal. In matters of choice, a divergence of path may be subtle, but its results long lasting. A baseball thrown in deep space will continue on its path until acted upon by a new force. We naturally do not tempt reactions, and thus maintain the same path.
We are sentient, sensitive, agents unto ourselves, only acting for a reaction. If we hope to have reaction, we must have action. Weather automatic and trusted or new and risky, we must always act.